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Teen Writers Critique Group

Welcome to TWCG, a forum for teen writer. Here you can post works, get feedback, and talk to others.
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Teen Writers Critique Group

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Teen Writers Critique Group

Teen Writers Critique Group


5 posters

    Caden Stirling

    Emma
    Emma


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    Caden Stirling Empty Caden Stirling

    Post by Emma Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:12 pm

    hey everyone,

    my name's Caden and i'm thirteen years old.

    i live in a small desert town - there are about 500 - 1000 people living here full time. it can be kind of quiet, but i still like it Smile
    Emma
    Emma


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    Post by Emma Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:13 pm

    i should also add that i only live here during the school holidays. i go to a boarding school in a another town. my town is too small for a school Razz
    Mac
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    Post by Mac Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:15 pm

    Hi Caden!
    Why are there only 500-1000 people in your town? Is that how it's always been or is it something different?
    Joce
    Joce
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    Post by Joce Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:17 pm

    Umm, here goes, how do you live with, and what is relationship with that person/s?
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:22 pm

    hey mac Smile
    nope, it's pretty much how it's always been! if anything the population has increased.
    there was a big war a while ago ago. it finished about 8 years ago. our country was pretty badly hit. a lot of bad stuff happened and now apparently everyone is spreading out and living in more rural places. dad says that everyone's pretty suspicious of others these days (but everyone in my town's really nice!).
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:27 pm

    hi joce,
    i live with my dad (jackson) and my mum (andrea). they're both the coolest parents. i know lots of kids say that, but mine are actually the best!!! no joke Very Happy
    i get on with mum the best out of both of them i reckon though. she is always willing to help - whenever i need it (which with homework, is quite often!)
    dad's a great bloke too, but he is often busy with his own work. on the plus side though, he never gets angry with me. even when i do something really stupid. it's part of his teachings to me - he says we should always respect others. you should never get angry with someone until you know their side of the story
    Joce
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    Post by Joce Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:32 pm

    Okay, so I'm assuming you don't have any siblings, would you like some?

    Another question, how are you in your community (whether at school or at the town). Do you shy away from people or are you attention centered? Or somewhere in the middle?


    Last edited by Joce on Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
    Mac
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    Post by Mac Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:32 pm

    What kind of 'bad stuff?'
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:44 pm

    nope, no siblings. the government is trying to encourage people to not have as many children now, in an attempt to reduce the population numbers. there aren't any rules yet - just... recommendations.

    i guess sometimes i wish i had a brother or sister to hang about with during the holidays. all my friends at school are great and everything, but none of them really live near me. there are still lots of kids in my town to get together with and stuff though, but because i only see them during the holidays i don't know them as well as i would like.

    i don't aim to get attention, but i won't say that i don't get it...or that i don't like it Razz
    i'm always getting told i talk to much and that my joking about can get annoying...but those people just can't take a joke.

    talking about not being able to take a joke...there was this one guy at my school who got the tip of his finger severed by a folding chair. it was pretty gross, but hospital fixed it up fine and everything - it was just that his finger was going to be permanently half a centimeter shorter than usual. so i went to see him to try and cheer him up. he looked a bit depressed, so i said to him: "hey, at least gloves will be cheaper". and he got so angry!! i felt a bit bad afterwards, but he seriously needed to calm down!!!
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:44 pm

    mac - i have to go now, but i'll come back and answer your question later Smile
    nice meeting you guys Razz
    Tia
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    Post by Tia Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:52 pm

    I didn't get a turn Sad Well, it's my own fault, I was playing around with the map too much...

    Anyway, for next time, what does your dad do that makes him busy all the time? Also, how harsh are these 'recommendations' the goverment are making? Does anything happen to you if you decide not to follow their advice?
    Mac
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    Post by Mac Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:56 pm

    It's OK Tia, you don't need to cry! XD I'm posting one too if you want to interview!
    Tia
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    Post by Tia Fri Aug 26, 2011 4:59 pm

    Uuuuuh, please! Very Happy
    Mac
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    Post by Mac Fri Aug 26, 2011 5:28 pm

    I posted it now Tia Smile

    Caden, is the government... hiding something? Has there been anything peculiar where you live? (Where do you live?)

    Emma
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    Post by Emma Fri Aug 26, 2011 9:33 pm

    okay, i'm back - although it may not be for long; just enough time to answer all your current questions i hope!

    mac;

    terrible stuff. it was war after all. some countries were running seriously low on resources/energy sources and others were clinging onto any they had. things have now settled for the moment - agreements to share the remaining resources have been made and scientists are working hard to develop the "greener" ways to produce energy; at the moment they're not quite efficient enough to sustain us energy-wise full-time.
    in our country in particular though, there was a big divide in beliefs on whether we should even be at war and how we should be reacting. i live on the west coast of the country. fortunately, we weren't hit nearly as bad by the war as the eastern half. unfortunately, that meant that they weren't seeing things logically, and as soon as they began to be attacked, they lost all desire to sort things out peacefully and retaliated (the government is located in the east). our country was hurtled into war, despite our complaints, and we were expected to provide soldiers to fight a war we didn't even want to be involved in. even now there is a strong divide between the east and west halves of the country - we don't interact very much anymore; it's like we're two separate countries rather than one. it's sad, really. especially because we should be working together to try to overcome the obstacles we're facing. violence doesn't solve anything. no matter what we're told i know it's a selfish action. it should be condemned.
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Fri Aug 26, 2011 9:37 pm

    tia;

    dad works for a peace organization, which formed after the war began and then continued after the war finished. it interacts with other such organizations in other countries in an attempt to gain world peace. they had a large role to play in the ceasefire which ended the last war. pretty awesome, huh? Razz

    the recommendations aren't that harsh...yet. i don't think anything happens if you don't follow their advice, but i wouldn't really know since i'm not exactly of that...ummm...age... Embarassed
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Fri Aug 26, 2011 9:40 pm

    mac;

    nah, they're not hiding anything. they may be deluded in terms of their view on war, but i'm sure they're not doing anything evil. they're just trying to do what they think is best, aren't they?

    as for where i live, well, the country was renamed after the war. it has a different name now that you wouldn't recognize.
    [Author's note: I don't mention any actual place names in my story - the town Caden lives in and the country in which the novel is set are all nameless.]
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:30 am

    hey everyone,

    guess what?! i was hanging around town yesterday when i met this girl - Grace. she's new; apparently she's moved here permanently. i tried talking to her but she seemed really angry and didn't really talk much. what do you reckon - should i try talking to her more and try to cheer her up or just leave her??
    Tia
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    Post by Tia Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:02 pm

    Hm, what did you say to here exactly? Girls sometimes get offended over little things. I'd try talking to her one more time, and if she still doesn't respond (or responds rudely) I'd leave her be. In any case, I hope it works out. Do you know anything else about her?

    Your dad's job sounds cool. It sounds like he's doing whatever he can to help. What was the cause of this war, anyway? It sounds harsh. How old were you when it was happening? Did anything bad happen to your town or someone you know?
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:14 pm

    she looked pretty serious even before i begun talking to her. it was weird, actually. i guess angry probably wasn't the right way to describe her - maybe emotionless? numb?

    i asked her what her name was, why she was here, etc. just general conversation. i can't remember what my exact wording was, but my friend Hamish was there with me at the time and he thought she was a bit of a ... well, i won't use his exact words, but i don't think he liked her very much.

    i don't know else about her. everyone in the town was pretty surprised to see her so i think she must have moved here at short noticed.

    maybe i should just leave her be - let her get settled in a bit. i'm just ... curious i guess. she's quite different to everyone i've met before. so quiet.
    ah well.

    yeah dad has an awesome job!!! i hope to do the same when i am old enough - maybe even be part of the same organization. Very Happy

    the war was a result of a shortage in world-wide resources. some countries were running pretty low on some stuff, and those with enough didn't want to share for a reasonable price - they wanted to stock it for the future. there was a giant disagreement and hence, war. i was quite young so i don't actually really remember anything. fortunately the area i live in wasn't really badly hit at all or anything. the rest of my family was away from its effects as well. i'm pretty lucky in that regard.
    Mac
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    Post by Mac Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:29 pm

    Hm... I wonder why she was like that. Maybe you should offer to help her or welcome to the town or something. Did she look different in any way? Perhaps she was just stressed.

    Is it possible to go from one side of the country to the other? Or will somebody try and stop you?

    What do you know about the other side of the country? Is it completely destroyed? (Were nuclear weapons used in the war?) Or is it rebuilding?

    Mac
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:04 pm

    yeah maybe. ah well, we'll see. mac; she looks normal enough.

    yeah there's nothing to stop me going to the east of the country right now. i just might not be that welcome over there. the two halves of the country haven't yet forgiven each other. that's something i hope to change once i join a peace organization.

    fortunately we weren't affected by any nuclear weapons (there were some used against other countries). it has been about 10 years since the war finished, so rebuilding is pretty advanced.
    ^^[The author has not decided about this completely yet so this may change!]
    Mac
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    Post by Mac Sun Aug 28, 2011 4:52 pm

    Hm... would you describe it as anything like 'apartheid'? Actually, what kind of does your school teach you in History? It's a pretty random question, but...
    OmarEhab
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    Post by OmarEhab Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:19 pm

    Okay Caden, she's mad, and emotionless, have I got that right? Well ask her why's she so mad or emotionless ! Or another way make her feel so guilty that she treats you so badly and she might spill the beans. Cool I recommend the second one, much more emotional and she'll cry and stuff. Unless she hasn't got a heart!

    Jack
    Emma
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    Post by Emma Sun Aug 28, 2011 11:17 pm

    mac;

    i'm not sure if that's quite the right word. there are no official rules which discriminate against people from one side of the country or the other. it's just tension between people. some people have inflexible beliefs and that can cloud their judgement i guess - well, that's what dad's told me anyway Smile
    i'm assuming your second question is meant to be "what kind of stuff does your school teach you in History"?? if so, well, i guess it's just normal stuff really; we just go over what the world was like before the war, what important events happened around then, then the war itself.

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